Sunday, June 13, 2009

1:34 p.m.

I'm feeling a bit shaky right now and not sure why. Just a little anxiety. I get that every once in a while. Also feeling a bit lonely. I need to bring that up as a topic at a meeting. Lonlieness. Why do we feel lonely even in a crowd or among people. I have so much positive feedback lately from people. People who like me, thank me, are glad to see me yet I feel lonely. What am I missing? I can't put my figure on it. I talk to God and I know he is with me and I that I should never feel lonely with God in my life. But sometimes . . . I guess I just need to keep believing and praying. It comes and goes too.

I know in just a little while I will feel great because I will be seeing and spending time with Gavin. What a sweet boy. That's what it is all about. My Twenty-Four Hours A Day book entry for today was God speaking to me. It said: Face the day's problems with God. And in actuality I really don't have a lot of HUGE problems. Just problems that require having faith in God. I have to remember my gratitude list: Grateful to: GOD, PRAYER, WAKING UP, STILL EMPLOYED, HEALTH, FAMILY & FRIENDS. I just need to remember.

I just think about Mo Sutera. I miss her and I didn't even hang out with her that much. I just liked her so. But I can't dwell and wallow in that. She is in a better place and her light is shining down on everyone. I just have to get out of myself when I get like this.

Okay, I'm out of it. It's over. Done. God is good. I'm going out to get some sunshine. I will return later.